Beer, Bikes and Butts

A Tribute to Beer, Motorcycles and Cigars

Wow.  I feel even better about being a beer drinker.  I was cruising Netflix for something to watch, and came across a Discovery Channel documentary called How Beer Saved the World.  If you haven’t seen it yet, it is well worth a look.

Anthropologists had long believed that the first agricultural crop raised by humans was barley, and that it was grown to make bread.  They were right that barley was the first crop, but now it is almost universally accepted that humans shifted from hunter-gatherers and entered the agricultural age in order to grow barley for beer, not bread. Clay vessels (interestingly in the approximate shape of today’s standard pilsner glass) have been found that contain beer residue, and they are 3000 years older than the earliest discovered proof of bread.

Once the hunter-gatherers gave up their nomadic ways to start barley farms, communities and societies formed.  Ways had to be devised to plot out farm land and keep track of beer production so math was created.  The earliest discovered forms of writing contain symbols for beer, so beer had a hand in the creation of the written word.

The documentary also sets the record straight on Louis Pasteur.  Most think of him in connection with pasteurized milk, but he began his research to determine why beer goes bad.  He discovered bacteria in the bad beer, and then wondered if bacteria could make beer go bad, could it do the same thing to humans?  Thus was born the germ theory of disease.

And so it goes.  Beer is responsible for the discovery of refrigeration, which has saved countless lives since food can now be preserved, and beer is responsible for the end of child labor.

So here’s to you, beer.

Posted on December 14th, 2011 by Aaron Morris
Filed under: Beer, Beer Facts, Beer History | No Comments »

My wife must have missed this little item on my Christmas list, so keep it in mind for my upcoming birthday.

Posted on November 29th, 2011 by Aaron Morris
Filed under: Beer, Funny Commercials | No Comments »

I’ve been to the Los Angeles Beer Festival at Union Station for the past two years, and it has proven to be very inconsistent.

Last year it was nearly perfect.  The festival is held at Union Station in Los Angeles, and therefore takes driving out of the equation.  Jump on a train to Los Angeles, take a few steps to the site of the festival (the courtyard of Union Station), sample craft beers to your heart’s content, and then get back on the train for home.  Last year the organization was good, and there was an outstanding turnout of vendors.

This year the event started on a bad note, although it had nothing to do with the event.  Metrolink decided it would be a good weekend to shut down all the trains.  I seldom have the opportunity to take public transportation, but I have to ask, how can public transportation ever become a viable alternative for the masses if riders can’t be certain it will be available?  Fortunately I found seats on Amtrak, so we were still able to take a train to the event.

The train was scheduled to arrive 15 minutes after the start of the event at 12:15.  I saw that as a feature, not a glitch, because that would provide sufficient time for everyone to get into the event and we would not need to wait in line.  However, when we arrived, there was still a substantial line.  No problem.  We went to a café in the train station and had a small nosh in order to kill some time.  Fifteen minutes later we returned to the line to find it running the entire length of the train station, down one side of the station, and around a corner into the parking garage.

I walked to the front of the line to see what was going on, and saw the problem.  In all, about 1500 people attended the festival.  There were a number of people assisting with the admission process, some handing out wristbands and other handing out the glasses (which were real glass this year), but there were just two women checking the tickets.  And as I watched, as each person approached with their ticket in hand (usually a self-printed ticket with a barcode that needed to be scanned), in every case I observed the two women had no idea how to deal with whatever it was they were facing.  As a result of this bottle neck, some people waited up to an hour and a half to get into the event.

The festival was supposed to go from noon to 4:00 p.m., but in the end the last of the line was not admitted until 1:30.  Two and a half hours was still plenty of time to sample all the beers, but that’s not the issue.  By then, two of the three seminars that were being held were already over.  Further, although many food trucks were promised, there were only three, and that lead to waits of another 30 minutes to get food.  So, if you went to the festival thinking you would sample beers for a little while, relax with some food and then sample some more beers, that was not really feasible.

I go into so much detail hoping that someone related to the festival will realize how badly they performed and do better next year.  It does not take an efficiency expert to understand that if you are going to be admitting 1500 people at the same time, you need a large number of people to quickly process them. I witnessed many people voicing their displeasure to the organizers, who attempted to blame it on a fire inspection.  They claimed that the fire inspector had delayed the start so that the grounds could be checked.  But that only begs the question, how did that happen?  And the delay and disorganization I witnessed had nothing to do with the Fire Marshal; there were just too few people assigned to ticket taking.

Click on this photo for a nice panoramic view of the courtyard (and look for the half a person — looks painful):

Once inside, the experience was good, aside from the lack of food trucks (and no bands!).  There was a large number of vendors, pouring some very tasty brew.  But there are many beer fests to be had, and because of the lack of organization, there is no reason to attend this one again.

For a much more favorable, behind the scenes review, check out Dale Conjurski’s review here.  He’ll put up with anything for beer.  (That’s him in the top photo, dutifully serving up some fine Steelhead beers.)

Posted on October 29th, 2011 by Aaron Morris
Filed under: Beer, Beer Facts, Micro-Breweries, News, Reviews | No Comments »

I’ve published a few articles here about the health benefits of beer. It’s a good idea to have that arrow in your quiver of rebuttals when someone comes across with attitude about drinking beer. But I never thought I’d be able to write about the health benefits of cigar smoking.

Believe it or not, there are some health benefits to tobacco use, as set forth in an article published today on Cigar Advisor.  Incredibly, tobacco use can be healthy for your heart.

Read the article for some context. A pack a day smoker is going to suffer far more health detriment than improvement. But limited infusion of tobacco, say like you get from an occasional cigar, can improve your health.

So, the next time you light up and get grief from someone in the area about the smoke, just say, “Sorry, Doctor’s orders.”

Posted on July 23rd, 2011 by Aaron Morris
Filed under: Cigar Facts | No Comments »

Come 2018, you (and Larry Bird) won’t be able to enjoy a cigar at any cigar lounge in Boston or likely anywhere else in Massachusetts. Governor Deval Patrick vetoed a second attempt by legislators to preserve cigar bars in communities of more than 150,000 residents.

The debate followed the typical government methodology for infringing on the rights of citizens. Unless our government has become completely paternalistic, then no one can seriously argue that citizens should not be free to gather and enjoy their cigars. So in these cases, the government looks for an innocent third party that allegedly will be harmed by the activity. In order to eliminate cigarettes in restaurants, they pointed to the poor patrons who will be subjected to the second-hand smoke of others. That argument was fallacious because the free market takes care of that problem. Don’t want to be subjected to secondhand smoke? There will be a thriving selection of smoke free restaurants who want to cater to you. But, okay, an argument can be made that you are possibly depriving nonsmoking citizens of the ability to go to their favorite pizza hangout if you allow the owner to decide whether it is a smoking establishment.

However, even that weak argument fails in the case of a cigar bar. The only people that go there are people that want to be surrounded by smokers. So how do we demonize a cigar lounge? Who is the innocent victim?

The employees. You see, the employees of a cigar lounge had no choice but to work anywhere other than that cigar lounge. Thus, you are forcing the employees to sacrifice their health in order to work, or so the argument goes.

I don’t need to explain to you that this is a ridiculous argument on many levels. The most obvious is that this is not the only job the employees could have, and if it is, you are dooming them to a life of unemployment if you do away with the cigar lounge. Similarly, let’s assume that working in a cigar lounge is a really undesirable job because of the smoke, and that only 1 out of 10,000 workers would even consider working there. Well, you’ve just created a job that will enable people that might be having difficulty finding work to find a job because there is far less competition, just like, I would imagine, coal miners, crab fishers, and public defenders.

Here are some sample quotes from the government boneheads, taken from an article on Boston.com.

“Anybody working in a bar of any kind shouldn’t have to breathe in secondhand smoke in order to make a living,’’ said Michael Siegel, a tobacco control specialist at Boston University School of Public Health.

Patrons can choose to smoke, but employees, who may have only taken a cigar bar job because they had no other options, should not be subjected to secondhand smoke, said Marc Hymovitz, director of government relations at the New England division of the American Cancer Society. Cigar smoke is as or more dangerous than cigarette smoke, he said.

“It comes down to we shouldn’t make people choose between their health and a job,’’ said Hymovitz, adding that state governments should not be able to preemptively set local health standards. “This was not the Worcester City Council saying, hey, we want to allow cigar bars. This was the state saying you have to allow cigar bars, whether you want to or not.’’

Posted on July 13th, 2011 by Aaron Morris
Filed under: Cigar Facts, Cigar Lounge | No Comments »

* Given the right circumstances (i.e., at hot day at the ball park and that’s all the beer hawker has to offer), I have been known to drink Coors.

Posted on June 30th, 2011 by Aaron Morris
Filed under: Beer, Beer Facts, Micro-Breweries, Reviews | No Comments »

Ride the Coast 2011 did not disappoint. A great ride with perfect weather, finishing at Irvine Lake and a fantastic Blues Festival. Being an influential member of the media (that, and I paid an extra fifty bucks), I received a VIP pass that provided a place in the shade to hang out, discounted beer, an amazing lunch and, perhaps most important of all, high-end porta-potties with no lines!

Last year also concluded at Irvine Lake and the Blues Festival, and I don’t know if it was because of the shade or the bands were just better, but I really enjoyed the music much more this year. They were all impressive, but I especially liked Mama Pearl, Shari Puorto, and 2000 Pounds of Blues.

The ride was about 60 miles total this year, all police escorted with no stops. I never get tired of blowing through all the red lights on Pacific Coast Highway, while enjoying the view of the ocean.

I mounted a camcorder just above my headlight to capture the ride. Here is the entire 60-mile ride, compressed down to about three minutes:

Posted on June 28th, 2011 by Aaron Morris
Filed under: Beer, Motorcycles, News, Reviews, Rides | No Comments »

Good to see that Tiger is regaining some sponsors.

Posted on June 27th, 2011 by Aaron Morris
Filed under: Beer, Funny Commercials | No Comments »

C.E.O. Red Label Cigar (5 x 50)

This is a real mystery cigar.  I think I actually bought a five-pack of C.E.O. cigars, based on a vague memory that I exclaimed, “what the hell are C.E.O. cigars?” when the package came in the mail.  I think they were an impulse buy on Cigar Monster, ordered so quickly and without investigation that I thought I was buying CAO cigars.  Since receiving them, I have used them in my humidor to place behind other “real” cigars so they don’t slide backwards when I open certain drawers.  Quite the ignominious existence for a cigar.  Today on a whim I decided to smoke one of these drawer-stops in case it turned out to be a surprise find.

I was unable to find anything about the cigar on the Internet, and that’s why I’m going to go into some extra detail here, to assist anyone in the future trying to track these down.  CigarAdvisor.com had a little squib on it’s site, stating: “C.E.O. are impeccably constructed cigars with a diverse blend of longfiller tobaccos and wrappers spanning five nations, all aged from three to five years. Made by Arganese Cigars, we bought these cigars as a closeout and are passing the savings on to you. You get five unique cigars in all, spanning the entire range of strengths and rich tobacco flavors. Blue and Green are full; Red and Orange: medium; Yellow: mild.”

With a little more investigation, I think I found why Famous Smoke Shop (the company behind Cigar Monster and Cigar Advisor) was able to buy these cigars on closeout.  Inside the cigar band is the non-functioning web address www.ceoMLM.com.  It appears that these cigars were intended to be part of some strange multi-level marketing plan; the cigar smoker’s answer to Amway.  That also explains why the cigar band says Connoisseur Entrepreneurs Organization.

There is nothing on the Arganese Cigar site about these cigars, so it appears they are no longer manufactured.  My four remaining sticks may be real collector’s items.  Drop me a note if you want them.  Opening bid, $1,000 per.

So how was the cigar?  Actually, pretty good.  I guess if you’re going to sell a cigar at a multi-level price, and call it a connoisseur’s cigar, it had better be decent.  I could tell from the moment I cut it that it was a well constructed cigar.  The CEO red label had some real complexity, without ever becoming harsh.  Tastes of spice and chocolate, and mellow to the end.  A strong 86 on The Morris Scale.  If you ever come across one, give it a try.  I’m looking forward to trying the blue and green labels, which are supposed to be more full bodied.  I know I’ll be moving these drawer stops to a more accessible location.

Shipyard Imperial Porter – Pugsley’s Signature Series

The CEO cigar looked pretty light, so I thought I’d balance it with a porter.  The Imperial Porter I selected is brewed by Shipyard Brewing Company in Portland, Maine.  Here is the company’s description of the Imperial Porter:

“Imperial Porter is a full bodied, very dark, malty beer with a good roasted character coming from the Crystal, Chocolate and Black Patent Malts used in the mash. Warrior, English Fuggles, and East Kent Goldings Hops balance the malts with a good hop bite. The beer has an OG* of 1.070, rounding out after fermentation with just a slight residual sweetness and cutting dry at the finish.”

This description discloses that Shipyard has misnamed the beer, because an “Imperial” porter should have an OG exceeding 1.090.**  But I pick nits.

I like this beer.  The beer pours so thick and dark that you anticipate something heavy, but you are met with a very nice, malty beer.  The mouth feel is thinner than I anticipated, but not in a bad way and I think that will greatly enhance the drinkability.  The description of “a good hop bite” is accurate, to the point that a hop head would probably find this beer a good choice.  Not my favorite porter, but a very worthy companion to a cigar.  I give it an 84.

FOOTNOTES:

* OG = Original Gravity

Everything you ever wanted to know about OG:

Gravity, in the context of fermenting alcoholic beverages, refers to the specific gravity of the wort or must at various stages in the fermentation. This article focuses primarily on the brewing industry. The concepts and equations are basically the same in the wine making industry.

Gravity (specific gravity) measurements are used to determine the “size” of the beer, its alcoholic strength and how much of the available sugar the yeast were able to consume (a given strain can be expected, under proper conditions, to ferment a wort of a particular composition to within a range of attenuation, that is, they should be able to consume a known percentage of the extract).

At various stages in alcohol fermentation, the density of the wort varies. Depending upon the depth that the hydrometer falls into the wort, the percentage of alcohol can be determined.

Initially (before alcohol production by the yeast commences) the specific gravity of a wort is dependent mostly on the amount of sugar present and, therefore, specific gravity readings can be used to determine sugar content by the use of formulae or tables. This sugar content is expressed in units of grams of sugar per 100 grams of wort equivalent to % w/w and called, in the brewing industry, “degrees Plato” (abbreviated °P) and in the wine industry “degrees Brix”. Even when specified in terms of °P it is not uncommon to refer to the pre-fermentation reading as the “Original Gravity”, (abbreviated OG) though it is more correct to term it the “Original Extract” (abbreviated OE). It is, of course, correct to refer to the original specific gravity reading as the OG. By considering the original sugar content the brewer or vintner obtains an indication as to the probable ultimate alcoholic content of his product. The OE is often referred to as the “size” of the beer and is, in Europe, often printed on the label as Stammwürze or sometimes just as a percent. In the Czech Republic, for example, they speak of “10 degree beers”, “12 degree beers” and so on.

As fermentation progresses the yeast convert sugars to carbon dioxide, ethanol, more yeast and flavor producing compounds. The decline in the sugar content and the presence of ethanol (which is appreciably less dense than water) both contribute to a lowering in the specific gravity of the wort so that the formulae relating sugar content and specific gravity no longer apply. Nevertheless, by monitoring the decline in SG over time the brewer obtains information about the health and progress of the fermentation and determines that it is complete when gravity stops declining. A gravity measurement taken at this time compared to the original gravity reading can be used to estimate the amount of sugar consumed and thus the amount of ethanol produced. Specific gravity is measured by a hydrometer, pycnometer or oscillating U-tube electronic meter.

** Everything you ever wanted to know about porters and “Imperial” porters.

Before 1700, London brewers sent out their beer very young and any aging was either performed by the publican or a dealer. Porter was the first beer to be aged at the brewery and despatched in a condition fit to be drunk immediately. It was the first beer that could be made on any large scale, and the London porter brewers, such as Whitbread, Truman, Parsons and Thrale, achieved great success financially.

Early London porters were strong beers by modern standards. Early trials with the hydrometer in the 1770s recorded porter as having an OG (original gravity) of 1.071° and 6.6% ABV. Increased taxation during the Napoleonic Wars pushed its gravity down to around 1.055°, where it remained for the rest of the 19th century. The huge popularity of the style prompted brewers to produce porters in a wide variety of strengths. These started with Single Stout Porter at around 1.066°, Double Stout Porter (such as Guinness) at 1.072°, Triple Stout Porter at 1.078° and Imperial Stout Porter at 1.095° and more. As the 19th century progressed the porter suffix was gradually dropped. British brewers, however, continued to use porter as the generic term for both porters and stouts.  Thank you Wikipedia.

Posted on June 18th, 2011 by Aaron Morris
Filed under: Beer, Beer Facts, Beer History, Cigar Facts, Cigars, Reviews, Uncategorized | No Comments »

One of my favorite rides of the year is just two weeks away, and there is still time for you to join in.  Ride the Coast benefits the Santa Ana Boys Club.  For a $40 donation you get a fully police escorted 70 mile ride.  Get to see what it feels like to be the President; never stopping for a stop sign or red light.

The organizers announced today that there are a limited number of VIP tickets available, which get you a shady spot to sit at Irvine Lake, lunch, discounted drinks and a t-shirt.

This is a great ride for a good cause.  For details, go here.

Posted on June 13th, 2011 by Aaron Morris
Filed under: Motorcycles, News, Rides, Uncategorized | No Comments »