Anthropologists had long believed that the first agricultural crop raised by humans was barley, and that it was grown to make bread.  They were right that barley was the first crop, but now it is almost universally accepted that humans shifted from hunter-gatherers and entered the agricultural age in order to grow barley for beer, not bread. Clay vessels (interestingly in the approximate shape of today’s standard pilsner glass) have been found that contain beer residue, and they are 3000 years older than the earliest discovered proof of bread.

Once the hunter-gatherers gave up their nomadic ways to start barley farms, communities and societies formed.  Ways had to be devised to plot out farm land and keep track of beer production so math was created.  The earliest discovered forms of writing contain symbols for beer, so beer had a hand in the creation of the written word.

The documentary also sets the record straight on Louis Pasteur.  Most think of him in connection with pasteurized milk, but he began his research to determine why beer goes bad.  He discovered bacteria in the bad beer, and then wondered if bacteria could make beer go bad, could it do the same thing to humans?  Thus was born the germ theory of disease.

And so it goes.  Beer is responsible for the discovery of refrigeration, which has saved countless lives since food can now be preserved, and beer is responsible for the end of child labor.

So here’s to you, beer.

C.E.O. Red Label Cigar (5 x 50)

This is a real mystery cigar.  I think I actually bought a five-pack of C.E.O. cigars, based on a vague memory that I exclaimed, “what the hell are C.E.O. cigars?” when the package came in the mail.  I think they were an impulse buy on Cigar Monster, ordered so quickly and without investigation that I thought I was buying CAO cigars.  Since receiving them, I have used them in my humidor to place behind other “real” cigars so they don’t slide backwards when I open certain drawers.  Quite the ignominious existence for a cigar.  Today on a whim I decided to smoke one of these drawer-stops in case it turned out to be a surprise find.

I was unable to find anything about the cigar on the Internet, and that’s why I’m going to go into some extra detail here, to assist anyone in the future trying to track these down.  CigarAdvisor.com had a little squib on it’s site, stating: “C.E.O. are impeccably constructed cigars with a diverse blend of longfiller tobaccos and wrappers spanning five nations, all aged from three to five years. Made by Arganese Cigars, we bought these cigars as a closeout and are passing the savings on to you. You get five unique cigars in all, spanning the entire range of strengths and rich tobacco flavors. Blue and Green are full; Red and Orange: medium; Yellow: mild.”

With a little more investigation, I think I found why Famous Smoke Shop (the company behind Cigar Monster and Cigar Advisor) was able to buy these cigars on closeout.  Inside the cigar band is the non-functioning web address www.ceoMLM.com.  It appears that these cigars were intended to be part of some strange multi-level marketing plan; the cigar smoker’s answer to Amway.  That also explains why the cigar band says Connoisseur Entrepreneurs Organization.

There is nothing on the Arganese Cigar site about these cigars, so it appears they are no longer manufactured.  My four remaining sticks may be real collector’s items.  Drop me a note if you want them.  Opening bid, $1,000 per.

So how was the cigar?  Actually, pretty good.  I guess if you’re going to sell a cigar at a multi-level price, and call it a connoisseur’s cigar, it had better be decent.  I could tell from the moment I cut it that it was a well constructed cigar.  The CEO red label had some real complexity, without ever becoming harsh.  Tastes of spice and chocolate, and mellow to the end.  A strong 86 on The Morris Scale.  If you ever come across one, give it a try.  I’m looking forward to trying the blue and green labels, which are supposed to be more full bodied.  I know I’ll be moving these drawer stops to a more accessible location.

Shipyard Imperial Porter – Pugsley’s Signature Series

The CEO cigar looked pretty light, so I thought I’d balance it with a porter.  The Imperial Porter I selected is brewed by Shipyard Brewing Company in Portland, Maine.  Here is the company’s description of the Imperial Porter:

“Imperial Porter is a full bodied, very dark, malty beer with a good roasted character coming from the Crystal, Chocolate and Black Patent Malts used in the mash. Warrior, English Fuggles, and East Kent Goldings Hops balance the malts with a good hop bite. The beer has an OG* of 1.070, rounding out after fermentation with just a slight residual sweetness and cutting dry at the finish.”

This description discloses that Shipyard has misnamed the beer, because an “Imperial” porter should have an OG exceeding 1.090.**  But I pick nits.

I like this beer.  The beer pours so thick and dark that you anticipate something heavy, but you are met with a very nice, malty beer.  The mouth feel is thinner than I anticipated, but not in a bad way and I think that will greatly enhance the drinkability.  The description of “a good hop bite” is accurate, to the point that a hop head would probably find this beer a good choice.  Not my favorite porter, but a very worthy companion to a cigar.  I give it an 84.

FOOTNOTES:

* OG = Original Gravity

Everything you ever wanted to know about OG:

Gravity, in the context of fermenting alcoholic beverages, refers to the specific gravity of the wort or must at various stages in the fermentation. This article focuses primarily on the brewing industry. The concepts and equations are basically the same in the wine making industry.

Gravity (specific gravity) measurements are used to determine the “size” of the beer, its alcoholic strength and how much of the available sugar the yeast were able to consume (a given strain can be expected, under proper conditions, to ferment a wort of a particular composition to within a range of attenuation, that is, they should be able to consume a known percentage of the extract).

At various stages in alcohol fermentation, the density of the wort varies. Depending upon the depth that the hydrometer falls into the wort, the percentage of alcohol can be determined.

Initially (before alcohol production by the yeast commences) the specific gravity of a wort is dependent mostly on the amount of sugar present and, therefore, specific gravity readings can be used to determine sugar content by the use of formulae or tables. This sugar content is expressed in units of grams of sugar per 100 grams of wort equivalent to % w/w and called, in the brewing industry, “degrees Plato” (abbreviated °P) and in the wine industry “degrees Brix”. Even when specified in terms of °P it is not uncommon to refer to the pre-fermentation reading as the “Original Gravity”, (abbreviated OG) though it is more correct to term it the “Original Extract” (abbreviated OE). It is, of course, correct to refer to the original specific gravity reading as the OG. By considering the original sugar content the brewer or vintner obtains an indication as to the probable ultimate alcoholic content of his product. The OE is often referred to as the “size” of the beer and is, in Europe, often printed on the label as Stammwürze or sometimes just as a percent. In the Czech Republic, for example, they speak of “10 degree beers”, “12 degree beers” and so on.

As fermentation progresses the yeast convert sugars to carbon dioxide, ethanol, more yeast and flavor producing compounds. The decline in the sugar content and the presence of ethanol (which is appreciably less dense than water) both contribute to a lowering in the specific gravity of the wort so that the formulae relating sugar content and specific gravity no longer apply. Nevertheless, by monitoring the decline in SG over time the brewer obtains information about the health and progress of the fermentation and determines that it is complete when gravity stops declining. A gravity measurement taken at this time compared to the original gravity reading can be used to estimate the amount of sugar consumed and thus the amount of ethanol produced. Specific gravity is measured by a hydrometer, pycnometer or oscillating U-tube electronic meter.

** Everything you ever wanted to know about porters and “Imperial” porters.

Before 1700, London brewers sent out their beer very young and any aging was either performed by the publican or a dealer. Porter was the first beer to be aged at the brewery and despatched in a condition fit to be drunk immediately. It was the first beer that could be made on any large scale, and the London porter brewers, such as Whitbread, Truman, Parsons and Thrale, achieved great success financially.

Early London porters were strong beers by modern standards. Early trials with the hydrometer in the 1770s recorded porter as having an OG (original gravity) of 1.071° and 6.6% ABV. Increased taxation during the Napoleonic Wars pushed its gravity down to around 1.055°, where it remained for the rest of the 19th century. The huge popularity of the style prompted brewers to produce porters in a wide variety of strengths. These started with Single Stout Porter at around 1.066°, Double Stout Porter (such as Guinness) at 1.072°, Triple Stout Porter at 1.078° and Imperial Stout Porter at 1.095° and more. As the 19th century progressed the porter suffix was gradually dropped. British brewers, however, continued to use porter as the generic term for both porters and stouts.  Thank you Wikipedia.

Prohibition officially ended on December 5, 1933, with the ratification of the 21st Amendment. But earlier that year, newly-elected President Franklin D. Roosevelt took steps to fulfill his campaign promise to end the national ban on alcohol.  He convinced Congress to modify the Volstead Act to allow the sale of 3.2 percent beer in advance of Prohibition’s ratification. Thus on April 7, 1933, Roosevelt himself received newly legalized beer at the White House to toast what was the beginning of the end for Prohibition. In the 24-hours that followed, more than 1.5 million gallons of beer flowed as Americans celebrated.

So remember April 7, and lift a glass to FDR.

Joya de Nicaragua Fuerte Serie B, Corona Gorda (5.0" x 46)

From what I read, Nicaragua is the fastest growing cigar manufacturing country in the world, and for good reason.  I’ve never met a Nicaraguan puro I didn’t like, and supposedly Joya de Nicaragua started it all.  This stick was no exception.  Many cigars start slow and turn into something special as you smoke, but a precious few invoke an immediate “oh yeah” from the first draw.  That was my reaction to this small, unassuming beauty.

The taste was strong with a mix of spice and leather, but without a hint of harshness.  The smoke was thick, voluminous and dark, as though to confirm the complex taste I was experiencing.  The construction and burn were perfect.  This is one great cigar, earning a 95 on The Morris Scale.

If you are interested, BestCigarPrices.com provides a detailed history of Joya de Nicaragua here.  But that site does not offer the Fuerte Serie B, which proved a little elusive.  The going price on the sites were I was able to find it was around $63 for a box of 20, which is a great price for such a quality cigar, but at the time I am writing this, Cigars International has them on sale for $40.  At $2 a stick, this may be the best cigar value I have ever found.

Orval Trappist Ale

You may not give much thought to the yeast used to make your beer, but it can make a huge difference in the taste.  If you have ever made your own beer, you may be familiar with a yeast called Brettanomyces, or “Brett” for short, that is normally viewed as a contaminant.  This yeast comes from wood, and can feed on wood, which can be a problem for breweries that ferment in casks.

But in the proper hands, Brett can be used to add distinctive flavors to beer, and is used in some sour beer styles.  If you want to experience a Brett beer (not in a sour style), Orval is the only Trappist monastery that uses Brett in its the beer making process.

The taste of the Orval Trappist Ale is amazing, especially if you take the time to really smell the beer before you take your first taste.  The aroma of Brett beer is sometimes described as damp wool.  The Orval smell is slightly citrus as well, but very distinctive, and totally belies what you are about to experience. 

This Belgium Trappist ale pours a golden brown with a frothy tan head so thick you could suspend a cherry on top if you were so inclined.  The wild Brett yeast brings an earthy taste, that is at the same time sweet, dry and citrusy.  The yeast taste was oddly reminiscent of the horrible yeasty beer I created during my first home brewing attempts, but in this case it is a perfectly balanced addition.

You need to experience this beer.  It’s a little pricey at $4.79 for an 11.2 ounce bottle, but this is a true experience.  Draft magazine rightfully rated this beer at 98.

Let’s keep things in perspective.  I mean, seriously, when Ben Roethlisberger of the Pittsburgh Steelers turned to the camera after winning Super Bowl XLIII and said, “I’m going to Disney World!”, did anyone think that was an endorsement of the amusement park?  Of course not.  We all knew he was just showing a little love for the fine organization that had given him a very large stack of cash.

So, for example, if an outstanding cigar retailer like CigarsDirect.com gets really generous and sends me a free box of ten God of Fire cigars, by Carlito, aged two years and released only in limited numbers, you can bet I’m going to show them a little love.  It’s not going to “buy” a favorable review, but it would certainly be fair and appropriate to tell my readers that while I have not yet had the honor of ordering from CigarsDirect.com because all my humidors are already overflowing, from what I have seen CigarsDirect.com stocks some hard to find cigars at good prices, and they may want to visit the website and form their own opinions.  Heck, I’ll even show you some love if you too send me a box of good cigars, suggesting that my readers should check out your website the next time they need the services of a trade commission.

I hope this has made my position perfectly clear.  Now onto tonight’s reviews.

God of Fire Churchill by Carlito

God of Fire is one of the most limited production lines made by the Fuente family in the Dominican Republic.  It came about as a joint effort between the Fuentes and the Prometheus company, which makes cigar accessories.  The God of Fire cigars come in two blends, one designed by Carlos Fuente Jr. (“Carlito”) and the other by his father, Carlos Sr.  Carlos Sr.’s blend of the 2005 vintage, in the robusto size, received a rating of 93 by Cigar Aficionado. The God of Fire Churchill I am reviewing is the 2006 vintage, released in 2009 after more than two years of aging.

The cigar is the type that smells great even before you light it up, with a sweet caramel aroma.  The construction is impressive, and revealed no soft spots.  The burn was perfectly even with a long ash, yielding copious amounts of smoke.  The stick started a little slow in taste, but soon released a strong, complex blend of pepper and coffee.

For some reason this stick draws criticism from some quarters, claiming it is over-hyped., but I throughly enjoyed the God of Fire Carlito.  With that said, at $22 each, you’d better be sure you share my opinion before you commit to a box.  A strong 92 on The Morris Scale.

Hoegaarden White Beer

Named after the Belgian village where it was first discovered, Hoegaarden wheat beer has a rich history dating back to the middle ages.  It is the original Belgian wheat beer and part of a long brewing tradition in this agriculturally rich region.  Blended with malted barley, wheat, coriander and curaçao orange peel Hoegaarden has a distinctive, smooth flavour and subtle citrusy character.  When poured it has a soft, white creamy head and pale almost shimmering appearance. Today the Hoegaarden brewery is owned by Anheuser-Busch InBev.  (Thanks to Wikipedia for the background.)

It pours with a thick head, and the beer itself is very pale and cloudy.  The nose is citrus, but the taste consists of bananas and grapefruit.  I’m not sure how this ended up in the ol’ beer fridge, and I selected it with no preconceived notions, but I was very pleasantly surprised.  This is a refreshing beer with excellent drinkability.

Funny you should ask.

Carlsberg workers in Denmark went on strike today to protest the company’s new policy, limiting when (not even how much) their workers can drink beer on the job. You see, being a brewery, Carlsberg stocks all the company refrigerators with water, soft drinks and beer. The lunch room is also stocked with all the beer the employees want to drink. And drink they did. The workers drank beer in the morning, at lunch, and in the afternoon.

Yes, I know, it sounds like a dream job. But the company decided there was a bit too much beer drinking going on during work hours (they already had to put alcohol locks on the company trucks to prevent drunk driving), so management decided that the employees would be limited to only drinking beer during lunch.

The workers would have none of that, and went on strike, including the warehouse staff (you know, the ones who operate heavy machinery, forklifts and the like). Most vocal were the drivers who claim a “very old right” to have three beers per day on top of whatever they consume at lunch.

I like beer as much as the next guy . . . ok, I may like beer more than the next guy . . . but come on. On the rare occasions that I have a beer at lunch, I feel the impact in the afternoon. These guys were probably consuming at least six beers during an eight hour shift. You can’t tell me that would not have some impact on the ol’ productivity.

To its credit, the union has declared that the strike is illegal and intends to fine the workers.　

Thanks to @SexCigarsBooze for the heads up on this breaking news story.  I’m recalling the resume I sent to Carlsberg.

(** Although we’ve now forgotten how we got to the moon. Now that there is talk of returning to the moon, did you know NASA is going around buying up the stuff they sold as scrap decades ago so they can reverse engineer the equipment and figure out how they did it the first time? NASA confirms it here.)

The Rogue Brewery in Oregon and the fine beers it produces reminds us once again to give thanks to Jimmy Carter.  Although viewed by many as the worst President in modern history, he is the one that signed the bill in 1979 that repealed federal restrictions on home brewing of small amounts of beer. His signature paved the way for the States to follow suit and permit home beer making.  Many beer historians (that was my minor in college) credit this point in history for all the many craft beers we enjoy today.

Rogue Ales started in exactly that way, with some guys who enjoyed brewing beer.  The brewery began as a brewpub in Ashland, Oregon, and now produces an impressive variety of beers, including the American Amber Ale.  The beers they produce are free from preservatives, additives and chemicals, and are not pasteurized.

As you can see from the photo, the beer is amber as you would expect, but lays off a nice head with lots of Belgian lace.  The nose is strong with citrus, caramel and roasted malt.  The mouthfeel is very creamy, and the initial taste is strong with grapefruit, orange and malt.  The bitterness is stronger than I expected, but after the initial surprise I really enjoyed the almost dark chocolate quality of it.

The bitterness would make this a nice change up during a night of drinking.  There was nothing boring about this brew; very complex and eminently drinkable.  If the brews from this company are all this good, I will happily join the Rogue Nation.  A 9.1 on The Morris Scale.

Nub Habano 466 (4.0″ x 66)

I guess I was a little unclear on the Nub concept.  I selected the Nub from the humidor tonight because my lungs are still recovering from Saturday’s tasting at the 8Eightyeight cigar lounge.  I thought short would translate to a quick smoke, but this little bastard lasted over an hour.  But I didn’t mind in the end because this was a pleasant smoke.

This stick is a Nicaraguan puro made by Oliva.  The taste was not very complex, but it offered a nice blend of nuts and pepper with a hint of leather.  Perhaps because of the massive ring size, the end had flared a bit during the time in my humidor, and that made the initial burn a little dicey.  But a half inch into the smoke the problem worked itself out.

The concept that Oliva promotes with this short and fat configuration is that you get to the “sweet spot” of the cigar from the first draw.  Cigars get more interesting toward the end as the essences accumulate, and this cigar basically begins at the end because it is so short.  As we say in the legal business, that is pure sophistry.  The essences, as I am calling them, need time to accumulate.  By Oliva’s reasoning, you could get to the “sweet spot” of a Churchill by cutting off the first four inches.  Also, a cigar gets hotter toward the end of its life with less tobacco to cool the smoke, and that is not generally considered a benefit.  With a Nub, you are drawing hotter smoke for a larger percentage of the time.

I thus reject the Nub concept, and won’t likely buy anymore, but still enjoyed this as a decent smoke.  I’ll give it a 7.999.  I just can’t quite put it in the 8 range.

Just what you need to make you feel better
Just what you need to make you feel
Just what you need to make you feel better
Just what you need to make you feel

Find the end of the rainbow
Fly wherever the winds blow
Laugh at life like a sideshow
Just what you need to make you feel better
Don’t stop bringin’ the girls round
Don’t start havin’ a showdown
Keep on handin’ the jug round
All that you need is wine and good company

OK, so I’m drinking beer instead of wine, but I’ll still take it as cosmic confirmation.

Gurkha Legend, Churchill (7.5″ x 52)

Given my generous friends and family, I’m often as a loss as to how specific cigars came to be in my humidor, but I recall that this stick came with the introductory sampler from Cigar.com, which means it has been mellowing nicely in my humidor since October 2008. The Gurkha Legend uses a blend of Dominican long-leaf filler, with a slightly spicy Cameroon binder leaf, followed by a thick Connecticut Broadleaf maduro wrapper.

The resulting taste is spicy and complex. I found notes of chocolate and coffee. I really liked this Gurkha. Mellow without being boring. In the sampler, Cigar.com listed this as the “everyday cigar” and I think that is an apt description. It’s not as rich and complex as the Titan, which is one of my favorite Gurkhas, but it was a cigar that would fill very well the role of an everyday cigar. Construction and burn were perfect. Dark, oily wrapper and a good draw and taste from the initial draw to conclusion. I’ll be ordering more of these. A 9.1 on The Morris Scale.

Okocim Porter

One of the reasons I pen reviews of beer is because it forces me to slow down and consider what I am drinking and do a little background research. The reward comes when I find that there was a big hole in my beer drinking experience; that there is a whole class of beer of which I was unaware.

In this case it was the Baltic beers. While I have consumed beers from the region, I never focused on the history and brewing techniques. Here is how it was explained at Epinions.com:

“This beer is a Baltic Porter, a style that approaches imperial stouts in strength and intensity. There is good reason for this, since imperial stouts were transported through the Baltic Sea and into Northern Europe and then Russia. The imperial stouts came from England and were top fermented ales. Baltic porters, however, are bottom-fermented lagers. How did this happen? Perhaps a bit of Germanic influence was at work, since there was already a tradition of bottom fermented Schwarzbiers in the eastern German states which border Poland and the Baltic states of Lithuania, Latvia, and Estonia. Schwarzbier is German and literally translated means ‘Black Beer.’”

Baltic brews are intense and flavorful, with a higher alcohol content and a better-than-average shelf life. As you can see from the photo, the Okocim Porter pours as almost jet-black in color, with a tall tan head formation. The nose is sweet licorice and molasses. The taste is rich with dark malt, chocolate, and a hint of citrus. The mouthfeel is very creamy and the finish is smooth.

This is a heavy beer with high alcohol, so I’d rate the drinkability as low; more akin to a port to be consumed after dinner. But you are really going to enjoy the one or two that you do drink. A great porter, rating it a 9.3. Look for me in the Baltic beer section of the beer store.

But here is the quote that caught my eye:

“Our mission is to become the most profitable and efficient brewer in China,” YR Cheng, president of the new China brewery was quoted as saying.  During the interview, he said nothing about the quality of the beer, or expressed any excitement in bringing a new beer to China. 

Can you guess the beer?  Budweiser, of course.

Get this. Heineken gets the brilliant idea to buy brewer Scottish & Newcastle, purveyors of Newcastle beer. The price is a little high, so they get Carlsberg to come in on the deal. Together they pay over $13 billion for Newcastle, with the agreement that Calsberg will get to sell it in Russia and Eastern Europe, and Heineken will have the U.K., Ireland and the U.S., along with a few other countries.  No doubt Heineken thought is was getting the better deal with those countries.

Let’s apply some simple common sense at this point. Beer drinkers in the U.K., Ireland and a large number in the U.S. know their beer.  On the other hand, until recent times, beer drinkers in Russia and Eastern Europe drank whatever the hell the government told them to drink. To say the least, that is not a region with discriminating tastes. So who is going to do better with this deal, Carlsberg or Heineken?

Surprise, surprise. The mass-produced, zero character Newcastle beer tastes pretty good to Russians, who used to drink discarded crankcase oil flavored with hops. On the other hand, people in the U.K. and Ireland (and to a lesser extent America) who know what beer should taste like, won’t drink a Newcastle on a bet. As a result, Carlsberg’s profits rose 34% as a result of the new product and markets, while Heineken’s net profits fell 74% from the prior year. That’s a loss of about 700 million euros. I would have charged Heineken far less to explain reality.

I know there are some who like Newcastle; enough that you sometimes see Newcastle tappers at bars.  But always remember, Budweiser is the number one beer in the U.S., and I think we can all agree it is swill.  In other words, the fact that a large number of people drink something doesn’t mean it’s any good.  Like Budweiser, Newcastle has the following it has specifically because it has no character; a brown ale with training wheels.  It’s not a good beer, and I have 700 million euros that say I’m right.