So the series just ended, and in the final episode Grace finally opens the box and finds that it contains Gurkha cigars.  Then in a final battle with evil, Grace is talking to some evil guy, who may or may not be the devil but who is responsible for the Oklahoma City bombing, and he comments that Gurkha cigars are the best you can get.

There you have it.  God smokes Gurkhas.  All I could think of is how much did Gurkha pay for that bit of product placement?  I think God could do better, but I did give the Gurkha Titan a 92 back in September of 2008, so I thought I would check to see if I still like them. 

Gurkha Titan 6.2” x 56

The Gurkha Titan is a 6.2 x 56 Honduran cigar with a Maduro wrapper.  The Titan debuted at the 2005 Retail Tobacco Dealers tradeshow, and with only 1,000 boxes made, it was only available to a small number of suppliers. The cigar begins with a combination of five year old Nicaraguan, Honduran, and Columbian fillers that are secured in a five year Nicaraguan binder. It is then finished with a dark 1996 Vintage Costa Rican wrapper.

The Gurkha Titan had a perfect burn and draw and yielded a long ash. Medium to strong the entire length, with lots of flavorful smoke tasting of spice.  The 92 I gave it last time was spot on; I still really like the Titan.  A very tasty smoke.

They run around $30 a stick individually from the discounters when you can find them.  CigarsDirect has them for $24 each in quantities of 16, which is $48 less than what Cigars.com charges for the same quantity.  I don’t like to commit to 16 of any cigar, so I watch for cigar bundle specials that include a Titan.  Cigars International recently offered a Gurkha “Top-Ten Sampler” for 30 bucks that included a Titan.

Old Scratch Amber Lager

I continue to be a real fan of the Flying Dog Brewery in Frederick, Maryland, and its Old Scratch Amber Lager did not disappoint.

Old Scratch pours deep golden amber with a large, off-white head.  The nose is interesting, with a smell of toasted malts; almost like oatmeal.  The taste is malt and citrus, with a hint of bread and caramel.  The mouthfeel is perfect for a lager, and not at all watery.  Outstanding drinkability.  It’s not my all time favorite from the Flying Dog Brewery, but it warrants a strong 90 on The Morris Scale.

Here’s six that I picked up for future reviews, saving $2 each.  Hey, 12 bucks is 12 bucks.  Total Wine takes its coupons very literally, so if the coupon says $2 off 22-ounce beers, don’t you dare show up with a 28-ounce beer and expect the discount.  No, I didn’t do that, but I did show up with a six pack assortment and the cashier fought me on it.  I won of course.

Joya de Nicaragua Fuerte Serie B, Corona Gorda (5.0" x 46)

From what I read, Nicaragua is the fastest growing cigar manufacturing country in the world, and for good reason.  I’ve never met a Nicaraguan puro I didn’t like, and supposedly Joya de Nicaragua started it all.  This stick was no exception.  Many cigars start slow and turn into something special as you smoke, but a precious few invoke an immediate “oh yeah” from the first draw.  That was my reaction to this small, unassuming beauty.

The taste was strong with a mix of spice and leather, but without a hint of harshness.  The smoke was thick, voluminous and dark, as though to confirm the complex taste I was experiencing.  The construction and burn were perfect.  This is one great cigar, earning a 95 on The Morris Scale.

If you are interested, BestCigarPrices.com provides a detailed history of Joya de Nicaragua here.  But that site does not offer the Fuerte Serie B, which proved a little elusive.  The going price on the sites were I was able to find it was around $63 for a box of 20, which is a great price for such a quality cigar, but at the time I am writing this, Cigars International has them on sale for $40.  At $2 a stick, this may be the best cigar value I have ever found.

Orval Trappist Ale

You may not give much thought to the yeast used to make your beer, but it can make a huge difference in the taste.  If you have ever made your own beer, you may be familiar with a yeast called Brettanomyces, or “Brett” for short, that is normally viewed as a contaminant.  This yeast comes from wood, and can feed on wood, which can be a problem for breweries that ferment in casks.

But in the proper hands, Brett can be used to add distinctive flavors to beer, and is used in some sour beer styles.  If you want to experience a Brett beer (not in a sour style), Orval is the only Trappist monastery that uses Brett in its the beer making process.

The taste of the Orval Trappist Ale is amazing, especially if you take the time to really smell the beer before you take your first taste.  The aroma of Brett beer is sometimes described as damp wool.  The Orval smell is slightly citrus as well, but very distinctive, and totally belies what you are about to experience. 

This Belgium Trappist ale pours a golden brown with a frothy tan head so thick you could suspend a cherry on top if you were so inclined.  The wild Brett yeast brings an earthy taste, that is at the same time sweet, dry and citrusy.  The yeast taste was oddly reminiscent of the horrible yeasty beer I created during my first home brewing attempts, but in this case it is a perfectly balanced addition.

You need to experience this beer.  It’s a little pricey at $4.79 for an 11.2 ounce bottle, but this is a true experience.  Draft magazine rightfully rated this beer at 98.

Partagas Black Label Pronto (4 3/16″ x 36)

The impulsive purchase in question was a box of Partagas Black Label Prontos.  You need to understand that I don’t buy boxes of cigars.  There are just too many great cigars out there (and sitting in my humidors) for me to commit to an entire box of anything, no matter how much I might like it.  

But the demonic laugh sang from my computer, signaling the hourly deal from CigarMonster.com.  (I really need to sign them up as an advertiser if I’m going to keep pimping for them.)  It was a box of 25 small Partagas cigars for $49.99.

“No, you don’t need more cigars damn it,” I said to myself (I should probably talk to someone about these conversations.)

“But it would be nice to have some small cigars, for the many times I can’t commit to a two hour smoke.”

“No, it’s 50 bucks, man.”

“But that’s only $2 a stick.”

“Paypal or credit card?”

Famous Smoke Shop (the bastards behind CigarMonster.com) claims these are made exclusively for them, which I will take as true.  The small sticks are made from Nicaraguan and Piloto Cubano Ligero tobaccos capped in a black, and one of the oiliest Habano wrappers, I have seen, but I say that in a good way.  I didn’t allow this to mellow in my humidor, smoking it the day after the box arrived, and for that reason I think it was a little too moist.  For that reason, the burn was a little ragged at first, and I had to relight a few times, but setting these minor issues aside, this was an amazing smoke.  I never would have anticipated the rich, spicy taste and copious smoke from such a small contender.  Equally surprising, despite my intention to use these as quick smokes, it took about 35 minutes to finish this cigar.

I’ll give the Partagas Black Label Pronto a 91 on The Morris Scale.  Put a few in your travel humidor for those times when you can’t commit to a Churchill.

Spezial Pilsner by Einhorn Beer Company

The Einhorn Beer Company claims to be a California Central Coast transplant of a German beer company.  If you examine the label on the beer, there is nothing to indicate this is a domestic beer (and notice the Spezial spelling).  The company wants you to think this is a German beer, and proudly proclaims that all of their beers are brewed according to the German Purity Law (Reinheitsgebot) which was established in 1516.  That’s a bizarre claim to make, when you think about it, because I can just imagine what constituted purity in the 1500s.

But ignoring the hype, the Spezial Pilsner is a North German style, where pilsners are traditionally more bitter than in the rest of the country.  It is a full-bodied, golden-colored craft beer and has only 5% ABV.   It contains high-quality aroma hops from the Tettnang region in Germany, a small town near Lake Constance on the Austrian border.

The beer certainly pours like a German beer, with a huge foam head.  The nose was citrus, and the mouthfeel was thicker than you would expect from a pilsner.  The taste was grapefruit and very refreshing.  Great beer.  I give it another 91.

The problems with so many iPhone apps that rely on data bases is that the data is so sparse that they little more than novelties.  Both of these apps did a really good job of finding the information they were supposed to find.

BeerCompass

The very cool BeerCompass app finds the bars, pubs, and taverns closest to you and detects the very quickest path to beer refreshment.  When you open the app, two beer angels drop down with a large compass.  Just touch the  screen, and BeerCompass takes you to the nearest beer joint.  Select one of the search results, and you are taken to Google maps for directions to said beer joint.

A nice touch is that the sounds of a bar play while you are reviewing the search results, getting you in the mood for being among fellow beer drinkers.  It occurs to me this could be used to ditch calls (“sorry, I can’t hear you, it’s too loud in here”), although in most instances people are trying to hide the fact that they are at a bar.

The searches weren’t perfect – Jamba Juice came up as a beer destination – but most of the best beer establishments near me did appear in the list.

Available for just .99 at iTunes.

BeerCloud

Powered by GreatBrewers.com, BeerCloud can track down your favorite beers in your neighborhood, and provide information about the beer and brewer. 

BeerCloud simplifies the process of picking a beer while you are staring at the racks at your favorite liquor store, and/or knowing what you are drinking once you get it.

I entered a number of beers, and it nailed most of them, returning extensive information.  Supposedly you can take a picture of the barcode on a beer, and it will callup the information, but I sure couldn’t get it to work.  But that’s a minor point, since it’s probably faster just to type a few letters from the name of the beer and find it that way.

The app is free, and is also available for Android devices.

Check it out and let me know what you think.

Sol Cubano Cuban Cabinet, Magnum (6.0″ x 50)

I went to my humidor with no particular stick or style in mind, but was drawn to the A.J. Fernandez Sol Cubano, primarily due to the look of it.  It’s a beefy stick, dark and oily, with a metallic band that practically glows.  A punch turned out to be the perfect cutting tool, leaving a nice opening with no stragglers due to the triple cap.

The cigar is constructed with Cuban-seed Nicaraguan and Honduran tobaccos, wrapped in an oily wrapper grown in Ecuador, yielding a complex, medium to full-body taste of pepper, spice and a hint of chocolate.  The burn was perfect, with no relights.  My initial thought was that I would be characterizing this cigar as a fine, everyday cigar, perfect for the golf course where it would provide little distraction, but it grew more and more complex as I smoked it.  The Sol Cubano Cuban Cabinet deserves your attention so it can be properly savored.  A great smoke, rating it a 9.1, and a real bargain at less than $5 a stick.

Tire Bite Golden Ale

The Flying Dog Brewery in Denver Colorado is fast becoming one of my favorite breweries.  Its In Heat Wheat took the honors against seven other contenders in our recent hefeweizen shoot-out, and tonight its Tire Bite Golden Ale was a great surprise.

Tire Bite Golden Ale is brewed as a Kölsch-style beer.  Technically, Kölsch is a German beer specialty, brewed in Cologne, Germany. It is a clear beer with a bright straw-yellow hue, and it has a prominent, but not extreme, hoppiness. It is less bitter than the standard German lager beer, Pilsner.  Kölsch beers are top-fermented at a relatively warm temperature (55 to 70°F) and then cold-conditioned, or lagered. This manner of fermentation links Kölsch with some other beer styles of central northern Europe, such as the Altbiers of northern Germany and the Netherlands.  (Thank you Wikipedia.)

Kölsch beers are meant to be crisp and light, with a slight hop edge.  That may be why they sometimes lack respect because they are not particularly complex.  Instead, drinking a Tire Bite Golden Ale is akin to biting into a green apple, with a crisp, dry not sweet presentation.  Reviewing this beer as a true Kölsch, it fares very well, with a deserved 8.7 on The Morris Scale.  The beer has tremendous drinkability.  The next time you think you are in the mood for something like a Coors light to pair up with burgers or hot dogs, reach for one of these instead.

P.S.  I bid a very sad farewell to Paul Chappron, a friend of some 30 years.  He lived his life serving his country, first in the military and then for 20 years as a police officer in Tucson, Arizona.  His big, loving heart gave out on him at way too young an age.  You will be missed brother.

Last year’s Beerfest was held on a very hot August 30, so I’m hoping the new date of May 15, 2010 (that’s a Saturday) will make the experience a little cooler.  There will likely be around 50 breweries represented, all giving unlimited pours (four ounces at a time), so be sure to arrange for transportation so you don’t have to skip any of the samples.  Last year they offered a $15 designated driver ticket price.

Admission is $40, and you can buy tickets here.  If you wait until a little closer to the event date, you can probably pick up some discount tickets for $25.  Just don’t wait too long, because it will probably sell out.

If you are also a wine fan, you should check out the wine tastings at Total Wine & More.  The tastings are held every Friday, Saturday and Sunday from noon to five, give or take an hour depending on the day.  Since by law they cannot give away alcoholic beverages, the price of admission is one thin dime.  This is not a lecture-type tasting where you need to follow along in a certain order.  Just show up anytime during the tasting hours, toss your dime in the bucket, and enjoy.  Ten cents allows you to taste eight or nine good wines, or as many as a dozen if there is a guest winery displaying its wares.  Of course the store wants you to find and buy a bottle you like, so they are generous with the higher-end wines.

Finally, I don’t know if it is true of all the stores, but my local Total Wine & More also has a very nicely stocked walk-in cigar humidor. 

Weeks ago I signed up to go to the OC Beer Fest at Irvine Lake, to be held on Sunday, August 30, 2009.  I think it was a first time thing, because I didn’t see anything about past events on line.  But it involved beer, so I was in.  Admission was $40 for all the plebs, but being an influential member of the beer press I got me and my St. Pauli Girl both in for $25 per (using a coupon I found on line).

The experience started on a down note.  All the aforesaid plebs were waiting in the will call lines, but I expected to be waived in — “Right this way Mr. Morris, your VIP table is waiting.” (Plus, I had actual tickets.)  So I walked past the lines, waived my tickets, and was told by a large security person that I had to get in the line, adding the unnecessary remark, “Why do you think EVERYONE ELSE is standing in line?”  To which I responded, “Oh, I don’t know, maybe they’re all standing in those lines with the big WILL CALL signs to pick up their tickets; I’m guessing you don’t get a lot of calls from NASA seeking a consultation?” thereby almost being ejected before I was ever in.  (And I’ll bet my St. Pauli Girl would have gone in anyway – that’s just the way she is.)

So anyway, they hand us two small plastic beer mugs, probably five ounce size, and we head into the festivities.  OMG, it was like Christmas in August for a beer drinker.  There were probably more than 50 breweries represented there, all of them pouring multiple beer types as fast as you could drink them.  I’ve been to food tastings like this, but in those cases there is a line at every station, and the sample they provide is a mere morsel.  At the OC Beer Fest, they filled the mug.  Indeed, many people were asking for half portions just to pace themselves.  And no real lines to speak of.  At most I would wait perhaps two minutes to get a sample at any given station.  It was a particularly hot day for Southern California, so the only real lines were at the stations that were in the shade.

So, where’s the tease you ask?  I was in the middle of a jury trial, and even though it was a Sunday I had to get back to the office to prepare for the next day’s witnesses.  I had to limit myself to little more than an hour and just a few half samples.  Damn.  Driving away in true, clear-headed depression, having sampled less than one-half of one percent of the available beers, I check my voice mail and, just to twist the knife, a friend had left a message saying he and others had arranged for transportation so we could drink with impunity.  Double damn.

Part of me hates to invite participation at the next event because I don’t want to lengthen the lines, but if you promise to keep it to yourself I’ll tell you that if you live within reasonable distance of Irvine (technically Silverado) California (say, anywhere west of Mississippi), you should go to OC Beer Fest 2010.

Some additional coverage:

OC Beerfest: Sweaty, Beery Fun

OC Weekly Slideshow